How to write a book review that leaves no doubt

Reviewing Jordan Peterson’s latest screed, James Marriott sought to write a review for The Times of London in which no sentence could be taken out of context and used as a blurb to suggest that he thought the book might be any good:

The last time I reviewed a book by Jordan Peterson, a cleverly edited excerpt of my negative opinion (I described it as “bonkers”) appeared on the cover of the paperback edition, giving readers the misleading impression that I had endorsed it. So this time I shall have to be clear. The new book is unreadable. Repetitive, rambling, hectoring and mad, We Who Wrestle with God repels the reader’s attention at the level of the page, the paragraph and the sentence. Sometimes even at the level of the word.

…

And even when I reached the end I couldn’t relax. I recalled that in an earlier chapter Peterson had intimated darkly that this book is only the first in a series. The stories of Job and Christ, he hints, “will be dealt with exhaustively in a forthcoming work”. Oh God. Please not exhaustively. I can’t take it.